Win a Woody’s Chopped Chort Fender

by Adam on 19, January, 2012

Or one of Mr McF’s to be specific.

A few of the more eagle eyed amongst you will have noticed in Mr McF’s little review he mentioned that Mr Woody had popped an extra “fender” into the post.

In a jolly kind and generous offer Mr McF has suggested that we could offer it as a prize in a little competition, the group buy may have offered a Woody at a bit of a bargain price but this is an opportunity to lay your Dromarti covered fingers on a “Chopped Chort” gratis.

To win this superb gift all you have to do is compose a Limerick and pop it onto the bottom of the page. Obviously, whilst it is taken as read Guvnor riders are Gentlemen of talent and taste it is not necessarily in the Limerick writing field so, to ensure an even playing field the mere fact that a chap has posted his effort will enter him into the competition.

The winner will be chosen by Mr McF after a time period and on criteria of his choosing.

To avoid cries of foul play the moderators can not win although of course they can enter, by some strange quirk I appear to be an Admin.

Good Luck chaps and chapesses!

{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

dickbrowne January 19, 2012 at 7:52 am

Jolly generous. May I kick off proceedings with a ditty along the lines of

A Guv’nor riding chaps trousers need defenders
from water and mud when the sky is up-enders
His gal may gaze with delight at his Woody’s short fender
But she’ll be jolly pleased when it saves his rear-ender

Is that the sort of form?


Nick S January 19, 2012 at 8:50 am

There was a young woman from Fishguard
Who loved to ride fast and incredibly hard
Her boyfriend was called “Bertie”
Loved her ‘coz she was dirty
Which was solved with the winning of this mudguard


dickbrowne January 19, 2012 at 10:06 am

Hmm, thinking about it, that wasn’t really a limerick was it? I suppose it was a little early, my man hadn’t even brought my kidgeree at the time.

In which case, may I respectfully submit the following?

A young chap from Newport went riding
and got mud on the tweeds he took pride in
He at once had a thought
“I need fenders, which are short”
And hence stopped himself gettnig a chiding

Is that any better?


Alex McF January 19, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Keep ’em coming. Your judge and adjudicator here! A few pointers, marks will be awarded for wit and originality, also for dubious rhymes and egregious scanning. This is not a high brow thing. No need to limit yourselves to Limericks; Haikus welcome (if I can spot one) or other forms. No epics though, my attention span is not what is once was.
Alex McF


Alex McF January 19, 2012 at 1:53 pm

PS notwithstanding the previous waffle, the prize will be drawn from a hat (smoking cap most probably). Moral victories is yours on the above criteria.
Alex McF


Duchy Wheeler January 19, 2012 at 2:08 pm

There was a Guv’nor rider from Tooting,
tired of getting wet tweed suiting.
So he procured some Woody’s fenders,
to protect from those soggy wet enders,
Then shared his good fortune, in a move most surprising….. with a prize!


dickbrowne January 19, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Blackest Guvnor Bike
Short Wood Fenders She Like
Tweed Trousers Keep Dry

There y’go – Haiku!


fossil January 19, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Roses are red
Gov’nors are black
Chopped Chorts are wood

is that Haiku ?


fossil January 19, 2012 at 10:17 pm

The chap rode his Gov’nor to Bridport
Where he wanted to purchase a Chopped Chort
The proprietor said chap
You’ll just have to pedal back
Cos I’ve just sold the last the last one to Lord Beaufort


Adam January 20, 2012 at 9:00 am

A Guvnor rider from the north
In all kinds of weather would sally forth
His wife would plead
Good god man! Think of the Tweed!
So he always used a Woody henceforth


Adam January 20, 2012 at 9:11 am

A Woody is a mudguard not a fender
Although some may think it’s an entendre
Kenneth Williams would cry
Oh Matron My, My!
I appear to have a dirty rear ender


Tony. January 20, 2012 at 2:58 pm

To stop my rear from becoming quite wet
when cycling my Pashley steed I have named Rex,
placed upon my back wheel is a stylish short length of timber
that once grew in a wood the name I can no longer remember.

Thats my effort not at all easy……


Tony. January 20, 2012 at 3:08 pm

A wheelman from the south was out for a ride
The clouds did burst. The gent was soaked to the skin

He thought a rear mudguard was called for if he was ever to win,
By the end of the week he sure did grin. For the postman had called
on his desk, was a small box with a most splendid short woody fender within.

[thats it] afternoon gentlemen.


Nick S January 20, 2012 at 3:14 pm

There was a young chap, name of Hood
Who coveted a mudguard of wood
But all he could afford
Was an old length of board
Until his prize poem came up good


Adam January 20, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Mr Browne,
Hats off for raising the general tone and Mr Fossil for dragging it back down again.


EmGeeCeCe January 20, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Now I appreciate I can’t win, however I have no chance of winning bike races either but that doesnt stop me entering…. anyway I didn’t write this MrsMG did…

Whilst taking a stroll in Wembley
I came over all faint and quite trembly
Chaps in tweed and such like’s
Whilst toottling along on their bikes
….it must have been the Guvnors Assembly


Andrew January 20, 2012 at 8:50 pm

A man with an old fashioned bike
Was searching for something to like
Trinkets might adorn
But he remained forlorn
Until he spotted some wood

Water fair soaked his britches
His wife, she was always in stitches
When he returned home from totton
Tired, with a soggy bottom
He knew it was time for a change

The trees gave him the spark
To attack some local wood bark
Scraping and scratching
He soon had it matching
His beautiful Pashley bike !


Matt January 20, 2012 at 11:13 pm

The grime on my Guv’nor made me moody.
Filth on my pants was no goody.
But then I said with a smile
As I rode mile after mile
I’ll be happy if my bike sports a Woody.

Please forgive me!!


Leah January 21, 2012 at 8:58 pm

First time writing about a bike I don’t have that I’d love to have and of course in rhyme. Not my forte, obviously. Quite funny i found a word to rhyme with garage *sort of *
Enjoy :)
I wish I had a bike to ride round Central Park
I would ride it all day until it gets dark
The problem seems that I don’t have a garage
if i did, i wouldn’t have to worry about nighttime hodgepodge.

Someday I’ll have my own very one.
I wont need to ask permission to store it;t will be so much fun
and then I wont have to admire the other bikes I see
because I’ll have my own and it will be all for me.


EmGeeCeCe January 21, 2012 at 10:09 pm

ooohhhh thats raised the stakes gentlemen !!! … a real New York poet !… thank you Madam



Adam January 22, 2012 at 1:10 pm

An entry from the Assembly’s poet laureate, the cat is well and truly amongst the pigeons


fossil January 21, 2012 at 11:52 pm

I’m a poet , and I didn’t know it .

thought I’d get that one in .



Mr Wellbalanced January 22, 2012 at 10:22 am

There was a young lady from Ashleigh,
Who went for a spin on her Pashley.
But with wheels left uncovered,
With mud, she was soon smothered.
So she wished she’d not acted so rashly.


Cody Davis (Woody's) January 28, 2012 at 3:39 am

I like all of it!


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