Top Lip Topiary

by Martin on 20, November, 2011

Lip Weasel. Smasher. Soup Sifter. Nose Neighbour. Call it what you will, but make no mistake- man’s best friend is back in vogue, and quite right too.

The humble moustache has long been a discerning gentleman’s accessory right through the ages, only recently falling out of favour with the male subject and subsequently becoming the topic of much ridicule. But thanks to a number of dedicated chaps, Michael ‘Atters’ Attree being one of them, they are gradually being taken seriously once more. The annual charity event ‘Movember’ has certainly encouraged new growth, with one or two gents deciding to keep their new found facial attitude long after the month of November is over, and taking on the brave new world with a new found fervour and a wicked glint in the eye. The young fillies love a bit of it, too.

Now then, the Tweed Run shall soon be upon us, and you have lovingly nurtured a prize specimen sprouting from your parafiltrum. But how does one tame such a beast whilst turning the pedal, I hear you cry? The answer is, of course, moustache wax. There are one or two efficacious preparations available on the open market, and I have tried them personally and can vouch for their effectiveness (details below), but I haven’t yet happened across anything quite so suitable as this splendid recipe from days of yore:

Melt four parts grated beeswax, two parts virgin castor oil and one part petroleum jelly in a bain-marie, stirring until all ingredients have melded together. Pour into a suitable vessel, and once cooled, work a small amount between finger and thumb and apply to your whiskers to keep them in tip top condition. A stiff upper lip indeed.

But if all that sounds like too much of a faff, you can source ready made compositions from these fine emporiums:

Captain Fawcette

Mr Natty

Wax Industries

Taylor of Old Bond Street

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Neil Holroyd November 20, 2011 at 9:32 pm

Excellent read, especially being a “Movember” virgin!! :)

Reply

Adam November 20, 2011 at 10:34 pm

A timely article Mr Martin, my Mo’ is beginning to get a little unruly and in need of a little control.

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Robert November 21, 2011 at 6:31 am

Very interesting article. Always had a moustache, then the beard.

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The Cycling Photographer November 21, 2011 at 9:32 am

Didn’t Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstal use that for a
Summer Fruit Tart topping last week?

Reply

Dr. Raybot November 21, 2011 at 1:46 pm

Well done! My cookie duster is about to peak in a few days.

Reply

Duchy Wheeler November 22, 2011 at 10:27 pm
Martin November 22, 2011 at 10:50 pm

An excellent find there, Mr Wheeler. Smashing to see Atters doing his thing for July, and Mr Leeman and Guvnor serving November well.

Reply

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